The Only Red Dress I Own: An OOTD

I don't own a lot of red.  I purchased this red dress out of necessity because I needed it to get into the Red Dress Party at Badlands in Sacramento.  I couldn't find anything red in my closet.  I was kind of baffled that I had neglected the color for so long, considering how much I love bold colors and really, colors in general.  I do have a tendency to favor other colors (give me all of the mint green) and so I guess red just wasn't something that caught my eye.  But, I love this dress and I really should try and add more red into my wardrobe.  

Outfit Details:

Red Dress: Old Navy

Black Cardigan Thingy: Old Navy

Shoes: Target

Lipstick: Lime Crime

Fuck Flattering and Fuck the Rules

There are too many rules in fashion.  And when it comes to being a fat person, there are even more rules tacked on to the already long list.  There is a constant reminder that we must wear things that are flattering.  And we all know that flattering means to look thin.  There are all of these tips and tricks to make us feel like we are hiding out fatness (black is slimming!).  If you walk into most plus size shops, their are racks on racks of hideous clothing for fat women that is supposed to help us disappear into the wall so no one notices our body.  And you know what?

Fuck.  That.

It doesn't matter what color I wear.  It doesn't matter how I wear my hair.  It doesn't matter what the cut of my jeans are or how tight or lose the clothes I am wearing are.  I am fat.  And I will always look that way and that's okay.  We really need to stop making fat people feel like they have to wear certain things to hide (but not really) their fatness.  By being made to feel like I should hide my body is to be told that I am not good enough.  And that is nowhere near the truth.

So many of us have spent so much of our lives hiding in clothes that were too big and too boring so that we would go unnoticed.  We have spent too many shopping trips going through racks of clothes that hide our arms and legs and looking at too many clothes with dull colors and prints too keep us hidden. 

I hate that when I put on something that hugs my curves, I still think to myself, "I hope nobody notices my belly line," or "I hope this is appropriate."  When I think those things, it upsets me because I am so far into this whole body positive/fat positive movement and yet thoughts like that still pop-up.  I still have to remind myself that I am worthy of dressing how I want to dress because I spent so many years being shamed for my body.  

So when it comes to following the rules, don't do it.  As Admiral Ackbar would say, "IT'S A TRAP." If you are standing there looking in your closet trying to figure out what to wear and you keep skimming over that short skirt because you are afraid to show some leg, wear it.  If you want to wear the brown boots with black leggings, do it.  If you are afraid to buy the horizontal striped shirt because everyone says fat shouldn't wear horizontal stripes, buy it.  Wear bold prints, cut your hair short, wear crop tops, don't be afraid to show some VBO (visible belly outline), and don't be fooled by the "rules." Do what you want and wear what you love.  People who judge you for your choice of clothes aren't worth your time anyway.  

My Mad Fat Diary

I am taking a break from posting about fatshion for a moment so I can discuss this little show called My Mad Fat Diary.  Series 1 premiered early last year on Channel 4 in the UK and has pretty much won the hearts of many and quickly spread throughout the fat positive community on Tumblr (which is how I came across it).

The show takes place in 1996 England with a 16 year old girl who just got out of a psychiatric ward. Rae Earl has some pretty serious mental health issues including issues with anxiety, binge eating, self harm, and suicidal tendencies.  After being released, Rae reconnects with a childhood friend who introduces her to a new group of friends.  Rae has to cope with being out in the world and trying to be normal when she clearly still has a lot of things that she is dealing with, one of which... is being fat.

The show is heavy, in terms of how it (fairly accurately) portrays being mentally ill and having some serious self images issues but the show is also hilarious.  Rae is a charming character who most of the time is just like most teenage girls.  She thinks about boys, sex, and music most of the time and is constantly trying to figure out where she fits in.  She is the most relatable character I have ever seen in terms of what it's like to be a fat teenager.  The show so accurately portrays what it is like to constantly feel like you are being made fun and being talked about because of what your body looks like and how, as someone who is fat, we try and figure out what we do and don't deserve.

Rae's childhood friend, Chloe is this thin pretty girl and it's clear that Rae spent most of her life in this girl's shadow, constantly feeling jealous of the way she looks and the attention she gets because of it.  When I first started watching this show, I related to that so much, even now... at 29 years old, I recall so much of my high school days being jealous of girls who were "prettier" or thinner than I was.  I had friends who would attract boys everywhere we went and I was always the one who sat on the sidelines wondering what it would be like to have guys chase after me.  Even if someone did take an interest in me, I didn't feel like I deserved it because my body wasn't good enough.

This show is so important in terms of fat visibility.  Rae is fun, has hopes and dreams, desires, and is wanted.  And her ability to connect with an audience that relates to her is just beautiful.

Series 2 started this past week and one episode in, the show still had amazing things to offer.  It's laugh out loud hilarious, relatable, sad, and all of the things that me want to continue watching.  I can't wait to see what this new season holds.

Happy Valentine's Day OOTD ❤

It's Valentine's Day!  I actually really love Valentine's Day and I always have.  I love the candy and the colors and the concept of just having a special day that celebrates one's relationships whether they be romantic or not.  Even when I was single I never hated the holiday and would often use the holiday to buy candy or small things for the important people in my life.  

My boyfriend spoiled me this year.  I have been dying for the Naked 3 palette from Urban Decay so I am really excited that he gave it to me as well Finding Nemo on blu ray and these AMAZING SHOES from Target.  I was drooling over them the other day and he went back and bought them.  I might even wear them tonight when we go out for Indian Food.

Early in January, eShakti released this dress and I instantly knew that I needed it for Valentine's Day. It's a beautiful and soft silky fabric and it fits like a charm.  I have several dresses from eShakti but I think this one is by far my favorite.  I don't plan on wearing it to dinner tonight, I have other plans for that but I thought it was a nice cute dress to wear for the day.

 

Outfit Details:

Dress: eShakti

Shoes: Torrid

Lipstick: M.A.C. Retro Matte Flat-Out Fabulous

Rainy Days

The winter has been very dry here in NorCal.  And although it's only my second winter here, it is clear that the lack of rain has been very unusual (it rained constantly last year).  The lakes are the lowest they have been and there has been talk of water restrictions.

But, suddenly three days ago... it rained and it hasn't stopped.  Being a Michigan gal, I am no stranger to rainy weather so I welcomed the rain with open arms.  I have been dying to have some sort of weather here, I mean... I love the sun and predictability but dammit I need some rain sometimes.  I have been missing the big thunderstorms that Michigan would get in the summer and although thunder isn't something that happens in NorCal a lot, it's nice to just have something other than sunny weather.

Finally having some cooler weather meant I could finally wear this awesome bomber jacket from Target that I had been drooling over for years.  Yes, years.  I think the first time I saw it, I was Black Friday shopping with my mom and sister but it was $40 and it's rare that I will ever pay full price for an item.

The jacket kept reappearing in the fall and I never caught it on sale until recently ($19.98? YES PLEASE).  I think I might have maybe... possibly... done a happy dance when I saw that it was half off.  I walked out of Target with a bounce in my step, that's for sure.

I have always wanted a pair of tall black boots, but I have pretty thick calves so I never thought that would be an option for me.  One of the sales associates at Lane Bryant suggested I try this brown pair (even though I really wanted black) and they fit, so I bought them.  I was a little disappointed at first because I have always heard that you can't wear brown shoes with black... well, anything.  But then I realized how utterly ridiculous that fashion rule is and let's be honest, how ridiculous most fashion rules are. And really the point of FATshion is to be bold and break the rules that have restricted us for so long.  

So I guess you could say my brown boots were a personal revolution VIVA LA BROWN BOOTS.  

Outfit Details:

Jacket- Target

Dress- ASOS

Boots- Lane Bryant

Knee High Socks- SockDreams

Lipstick- M.A.C. Viva Glam Rihanna

Always Tackle Mondays With Red Lipstick

When the hi-low trend started to pick up, I really loved it.  I loved that I could buy a skirt or dress that was long but I was still able to show my legs in.  But now it seems that suddenly everything is a hi-low hem.  So now, although a little sick of trend, I still have a few items that I really love.  This ASOS hi-low shirt was purchased last year with the intention of wearing it with leggings, but I love the way it looks with pencil style short skirts.

My love of short skirts is pretty much always relevant.  I have a couple of maxi dresses but I mostly only wear them when I need to put something on really quick while still looking cute and put together. I never would have thought I would be someone who would love short skirts.  Throughout my teens and into my 20's I always covered my legs.  I hated that they weren't thin, that my calves were thick and my thighs rubbed together but the more I started to embrace my body, my legs were the first thing for me to be confident about and I never looked back.    

Outfit Details:

Top- ASOS Curve

Skirt- Target

Lipstick- Ruby Woo

Super Bowl Sunday? More like Skyrim Sunday.

I didn't watch the Superbowl.

I didn't even put on any sort of outfit.

It's a Sunday and sometimes comfortable clothes to lounge in are my favorite.  And I am willing to bet that I am not the only person who looks longingly at a nice pair of pj pants or night gown.  I mean, why else would Lane Bryant charge almost $60 for a pajama set... someone is obviously buying them!  I decided today was a "play Skyrim all day and don't bother getting dressed" kind of Sunday.  It worked well for me but it did make me realize that I really lack good clothes to just lay around the house in.  I have a pair of pj pants and an flannel night gown but that's about it.

I actually just received a SimplyBe magazine in the mail yesterday and the cutest things in the darn thing were the lounge wear.  I have actually been dying to have a onesie and Simplybe has some pretty cute ones.

SimplyBe Onesie,  $39.95

These ones are on the cheaper side, most of the others closer to $50-60, which is the perfect example of why I hate most plus size shops.  As fat women, we have very few options for shopping and most of the shops that we do have, charge out the ass for basic clothes.  $60 for something I am going to sleep in and will likely not be seen by anyone outside of my own home, is pretty ridiculous.  But, because of our lack of options, people still buy these things and these shops continue to price things very high.  

Okay, okay.  I swear this post wasn't an excuse to rant about the prices of plus size clothing.  

Really, I just wanted to stress the importance of a good pair of pajamas.  I mean, sometimes there are days or several days where you just don't want to leave the house.  And for some (like those with mental health issues), even getting out of bed is hard and why not have something nice to add to your comfort as you are binge watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The X-Files or whatever it is that takes your mind off of the real world for awhile?

The First OOTD of February!

Here we go, my first official Fatshion February post.  I wanted to start off a bit bold and wear a crop top.  There has been this amazing trend of fat babes in crop tops and I love love love it. 

I bought this one at Old Navy a few years ago.  I had no idea is really a crop top.  I loved the color, which is a kind of blood orange ("shut the fuck up, it's red") with maroon stripes. When I got it home and tried it on, I realized it was really short and showed my mid riff in a way that (at the time) I was totally uncomfortable with.  I think as fat people we are constantly made to feel shame for our belly's and must at all times keep them covered as to not offend the people around us (Oh my stars, a belly?!) which just makes me want to roll my eyes forever.  So anyway, I never wore this shirt but couldn't seem to let myself get rid of it either and gosh, I am so glad I never tossed it.

At the time, I was very self conscious about my body and being fat.  I had yet to embrace body positivity and really work to love this body I have.  And let's face it, when you are constantly told your body is wrong, it's hard to imagine ever having the courage or self worth enough to wear a crop top even though they are cute as all heck.

 

I love short skirts.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good long maxi skirt but there is something wonderful about wearing a short skirt.  Maybe it's the show off in me or maybe it's just a more freeing feeling but either way, I love them.  Skater skirts are becoming my favorite thing.  This one is from Gstage.  I was introduced to Gstage this past Christmas when my boyfriend's mother bought me a whole bunch a items from the their shop.  She had picked out some very nice things but did not realize that their plus sizes were junior plus sizes, meaning they run much smaller than the sizes you would find at say, Lane Bryant or Torrid.  Some of the things fit but a lot of it had to be returned.  I could only get store credit so I have been picking and choosing items carefully to find something that will fit my size 24 body. This velvet skater skirt was something I was so happy to have actually fit.  I have been dying to own a velvet skirt for awhile and have been drooling over the skater skirts over at Chubby Cartwheels.  But as someone who doesn't have a lot of extra money to spend, I had to find a cheap alternative until I can lay my hands on one of those babies.

Chubby Cartwheels skater skirt in burgundy.  Also in black and lilac, $45

   

ASOS has a lot of really cute skater skirts including a leather one that I am currently crying over.  I purchased a plain black one from ASOS a few weeks ago and I love it.  I am sure it will show up on this blog at some point because it's super cute and comfortable.  They have a lot of great sale items and they ship for free internationally.  I always recommend ASOS's clearance section to someone who is looking for a good deal on some great clothes.  They are probably my favorite shop, though sometimes can run a little big.

ASOS CURVE Skater Skirt In Leather, $78.71

ASOS New Look Inspire Spot Floral Print Skater Skirt, $27.76

ASOS CURVE Full Skater Skirt In Longer Length, $37.04

My OOTD Details:

Top: Old Navy, XXL

Skirt: GStage, 3X

Lipstick: M.A.C. Vegas Volt

Eyes (Even if it's hard to see): Urban Decay's Glinda Palette with 

Stila all day liquid liner pen

A Little Something New.

It's almost 3am on February 1st and it just came to me that I should start a fatshion blog.  Fatshion February is officially upon me and I would love to have a place outside of Tumblr to post outfits, talk about fashion finds, and just put my focus into a specific area of my fabulous fat life.  When I wake up tomorrow I am going to get this started in a much more real way, but for now, I should sleep and figure out how to make the most of this blogging experience.